War on Thanksgiving
So before Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity can appease their Christian viewers by declaring a war on Christmas yet again this year (which I firmly believe they only do for ratings, and not because they really care whether the clerk at Target says "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays"), I am officially declaring that there is a war on my second favorite holiday of the year:
Thanksgiving. (My first favorite holiday is the first weekend of March Madness, which is not officially a holiday, but might as well be. Let's face facts, I am more inclined to do homework on Thanksgiving or Christmas than I am that weekend. But I digress.)
As my wife and I drove to work/school on November 1, 2006, we were greeted by nothing other than a giant Christmas tree being erected at our local strip mall. NOVEMBER 1!!! One day after Halloween! This is ludicrous!!! I don't know if it is discrimination against Native Americans for their role in the first Thanksgiving, or our complete disregard for the Puritan principle of thankfulness upon which this great nation was founded, but has everyone forgotten about thanksgiving? We are talking about a holiday entirely devoted to the God-blessed acts of eating and watching football. What on earth could be more American than that? Certainly, food and football are more American than mangers and carols. And what is more important than being American?
Let's face facts. If there is a war on any holiday in this country, it is Thanksgiving. The very fact that a Christmas tree goes up nearly two months before the holiday is proof in and of itself that there is no war on Christmas. No one is carving turkeys and watching the Detroit Lions AND Dallas Cowboys on the same day in September or October. And no one hangs up Thanksgiving decorations until after Halloween. I would simply ask that everyone follow the same rules in regards to Christmas. The rule is as follows: NO Christmas decorations until the day after Thanksgiving. How hard is that?
Finally, I propose that in order to make Thanksgiving more appealing and fight back against those who would have us forget about this sacred of all holidays, we look to what it is that makes Christmas so great: the ability to commercialize it. The problem with Thanksgiving is that businesses (besides Jennie-O) don't make enough money off of Thanksgiving to promote it the way they promote Christmas. In that spirit, I am requesting that anyone who is reading this blog recommend a way to commercialize Thanksgiving by posting a comment.
Thank you for your help. (See how great being thankful is!)
and Happy Holidays! (which I will be using this year rather than "Merry Christmas", because it incorporates both New Years and Christmas rather than discriminating against New Years, another holiday devoted to food and football).
Thanksgiving. (My first favorite holiday is the first weekend of March Madness, which is not officially a holiday, but might as well be. Let's face facts, I am more inclined to do homework on Thanksgiving or Christmas than I am that weekend. But I digress.)
As my wife and I drove to work/school on November 1, 2006, we were greeted by nothing other than a giant Christmas tree being erected at our local strip mall. NOVEMBER 1!!! One day after Halloween! This is ludicrous!!! I don't know if it is discrimination against Native Americans for their role in the first Thanksgiving, or our complete disregard for the Puritan principle of thankfulness upon which this great nation was founded, but has everyone forgotten about thanksgiving? We are talking about a holiday entirely devoted to the God-blessed acts of eating and watching football. What on earth could be more American than that? Certainly, food and football are more American than mangers and carols. And what is more important than being American?
Let's face facts. If there is a war on any holiday in this country, it is Thanksgiving. The very fact that a Christmas tree goes up nearly two months before the holiday is proof in and of itself that there is no war on Christmas. No one is carving turkeys and watching the Detroit Lions AND Dallas Cowboys on the same day in September or October. And no one hangs up Thanksgiving decorations until after Halloween. I would simply ask that everyone follow the same rules in regards to Christmas. The rule is as follows: NO Christmas decorations until the day after Thanksgiving. How hard is that?
Finally, I propose that in order to make Thanksgiving more appealing and fight back against those who would have us forget about this sacred of all holidays, we look to what it is that makes Christmas so great: the ability to commercialize it. The problem with Thanksgiving is that businesses (besides Jennie-O) don't make enough money off of Thanksgiving to promote it the way they promote Christmas. In that spirit, I am requesting that anyone who is reading this blog recommend a way to commercialize Thanksgiving by posting a comment.
Thank you for your help. (See how great being thankful is!)
and Happy Holidays! (which I will be using this year rather than "Merry Christmas", because it incorporates both New Years and Christmas rather than discriminating against New Years, another holiday devoted to food and football).
posted by teirney at 8:13 PM
2 Comments:
Great stuff Teirney: the subjugation of Thanksgiving, and the proposal of a March Madness holiday. you're festive after all, just not in a traditional sense. hey, maybe you could do thematic 'holiday' albums for thanksgiving and march madness?
my idea - how about seeing a few more "thanksgiving-themed" halloween costumes out there in the stores (you know . . . pilgrims, native americans, poultry, various vegetables . . .)? that way, when halloween is over, people who don these costumes would already be in the right frame of mind for the coming holiday.
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